Individual addictions (eating disorders, drugs, alcohol, sex, shopping, gambling, etc.) are actually symptoms of deeper patterns of addictions that humanity shares cross-culturally. These are called sub-addictions. Everyone has an addiction of one kind or another. Listed below is a brief outline of the real cause behind all addictions. In truth there are only four human addictions. These are caused by not claiming our basic four human resources that we all either have inside and need to develop. One of the ways in which to assist us in claiming those resources is to work on our spiritual development by honoring the four spiritual laws of detachment.
Here is an example – Having a need to have a drink or binge eat or drugs. Instead of immediately doing that, go to the four human addictions to see where your triggers are, and then which human resources that are not being claimed. Work on those by noticing which of the four spiritual laws of detachment are not being honored. Easier said than done, which is why a person well trained in this area is important to work with, sort of like a sponsor. Someone who not only has had the training, yet has walked the addiction path to get there.
Listed below are the four human addictions, the four inner resources and four laws of spiritual detachment. If you find those resonate with you, and would like some assistance in claiming your inner resources, reach out to me. I have walked down that road and been trained in the correct application of this program. Take a deeper look and if being honest with yourself, you might discover that you probably have all four of these addictions. Our television news programs alone subscribe to exacerbating these four addictions, along with advertising, society’s rules, religious conflicts and more. Each person needs a mentor to guide them into what caused these patterns to become deeply rooted and how to get out of them.
1. ADDICTION TO DRAMA or INTENSITY
Someone may have a low tolerance for what they perceive as boredom, mistaking peace for it. Therefore, they exaggerate, sensationalize, or dramatize their experiences in order to feel alive, or they live vicariously through friends and family who are always embroiled in some type of drama. What they are not realizing is that they are not honoring their inner human healing Resource of Love by paying attention to what has heart and meaning in their life. They need to access their four-chambered emotional heart to find four whether their heart is open, half, or closed in regards to work, any relationship, etc.; is it full or half-full or empty; is it clear, foggy, or confused; and/or is it strong or weak-hearted. Usually it is all of the above, yet not all in the same areas of life.
2. ADDICTION TO PERFECTION
This is a person who does not tolerate mistakes nor likes to explore vulnerability of any kind. Maybe it is due to all the rules they grew up with – parents (especially military); religion wanting them to strive to be perfect in the eyes of God, but consistently told they are sinners, therefore, it cannot be accomplished thus creating religious conflict (instead of knowing you are divinely loved no matter what); school grades not good enough, therefore, feeling stupid or less than; peer pressure – if not perfect in a certain way to “fit in” are some examples. The results is trying to stay invested in maintaining a façade, because the fear of rejection and humiliation are too strong. The healing human Resource of Empowerment is waiting to be activated, meaning one strives for excellence vs. perfection. Excellence comes from the Grace of someone being able to cultivate from making mistakes and having the willingness to try again from lessons learned.
3. ADDICTION TO THE NEED TO KNOW THE OUTCOME
This is someone who dislikes surprises or unexpected events. They want to know all the time what is going to happen so they can be in control. These control and trust issues do not allow for any spontaneity, and they certainly do not like taking risks. This usually comes from some unexpected event(s) that caused a shock and left them feeling very vulnerable. The healing human inner Resource is Wisdom. They need to accept that there is a greater intelligence and plan at work here, which ultimately works out for the best. Additionally, a sense of humor is necessary to lighten up and not take oneself and life too seriously.
4. ADDICTION TO WHAT’S NOT WORKING
Do you know someone, perhaps even yourself, who magnifies negative experiences? This is to gain attention, and they are coming from a very fixed perspective. They can also tend to be judgmental, but not always. The issue here is that they are unable to trust their own intuitive information. Their minds override their gut feelings, and yet if they slowed down long enough, they would find that their first hunch was always correct. The inner human Resource is Vision – Accessing the inner sacred witness to be able to see the blessings, gifts, talents, and resources available through using the four ways of seeing: intuition, insight, perception, and vision.
The Four Universal Laws of Spiritual Detachment
1. Whoever shows up is exactly the right person (mirror principle).
Whether you want someone at your party or not, they are precisely the “medicine” you need right now to recognize something within yourself. This is often associated with addiction #3.
2. Whatever happened is the only thing that was meant to happen (karma)
Hindsight is always 20/20. If you had known how to do otherwise or could have, you would have. The would’ve, could’ve, should’ve voices keep you stuck in the four addictions, especially #4.
3. Whenever it starts, it is the right time (synchronicity)
Everything happens for a reason whenever it happens. An example: people often take time personally. Perhaps a friend was to meet you for lunch. You only have an hour, but they show up a half hour late. You feel like you were not significant enough to them to make it on time. However, perhaps they got stuck in traffic or had to work late, or whatever. Find out what the reason is before jumping to conclusions. Let go of the need to have it ideally the way you envisioned it (#2).
4. Whenever something is over, it is over (non-attachment)
Let it go! The addiction to drama (#1) came in many ways. Wanting to hang onto experiences, good, bad, or indifferent, to make stories out of them to make them last longer in your mind, and that is when there are always more parts added to the memory.
Even though I have given each Law of Detachment an addiction to go with it, they can apply to all the addictions if you take your time to look.
Remember, if you would really like to talk more about these addictions, human resources, and laws of spiritual detachment, you can text me to set up an appointment for a free 15-minute consult to see if I can assist you in any way moving forward on your own healing path.